On planning

Why do I hate making plans? 
Because I’m not good at them. 
I’m not talking about small scale planning – the type you would do before a trip, or the foresight to plan your lunch for work the next morning. 
I’m talking large scale, life dreams, planning. 

Yeah, I’m not very good at that type of planning. 
And it’s not because I don’t have ideas, or goals, or desires. 
It’s because I tend to lack the patience to not go a little bit overboard. 
The type of patience that would say, “Don’t go buy that really, really expensive saw that you have no room to store and definitely won’t be able to move with you when your life goes all topsy-turvy again.”
The type of wisdom that might steer you away from throwing out your life belongings and moving away from everyone you love – to be with someone who specifically TOLD you they needed to be alone. 
The type of foresight that might advise against spending hours building furniture for a house that isn’t yours.
The type of restraint that would wrap an arm around your shoulder like a friend about to tell you something you really, really don’t want to hear and say, “You can’t change people.”

Do I regret these things? No. 
Will I learn from them? Yes. 
Hindsight is 20/20

Today, I’m throwing out plans. I’m throwing out dreams. 
I’m building myself a proverbial fortress of “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, and throwing myself to the current.
Whatever happens – happens. 

If things work out, they work out.
And I’ll have a valuable lesson in which I don’t let my life get so tangled up in someone else’s again. 
If they don’t work out, they don’t work out.
And I’ll have a valuable lesson in which I don’t let my life get so tangled up in someone else’s again.

Que sera, sera

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